poems from a broken heart ( poetry book )
See I am a fast car just flying away....
Deep in a far rockaway shelter I sit in a room destroyed because I couldn’t be with the parts of myself that I really enjoyed being...see I was being torn apart by everything that was familiar to me... when no one was looking I hid my sacred self inside of river within me because really
I am just tears... so no one can tell the difference and every day I had to watch myself in the river just float on by like I didn’t care about me... so I cried on my shirt and threw it into the river so at least I can still encourage my sacred self to empower our connection...that one day I would be strong enough to pull it from the river and reconnect us... I felt so sorry for myself that I couldn’t be there I felt so much empathy for myself and I was alone just wishing I was could fly away..,,
So maybe if I kill myself then everything will get better and I wouldn’t have to keep witnessing myself suffer..see I just wanted to be cared about I am so in love with myself I had to be more than I could be with anyone else... everyone turned their backs on my river and they spit on it and poured poison into my waters and tried to set my shallowness on fire... I fought them off and I ran to myself and I set myself free and told me I would come back for you one day... so you have to keep on living without me... I cried sacred tears some more so I can get all of me out into the river and I pushed myself into the ocean and I floated in the unknown abyss by myself and no one was there but me I was all alone and I look back at myself and tried to pull me underneath... but myself told me that you either leave tonight or we will die from this... please go without me I care about so much that I am willing to be killed by all this hate and anger... so you can have a chance at a better life... and then the other me sat on the grass near the water, just witnessing this... I gave me a hug and a kiss... and I pushed me even further out into the unknown... I couldn’t let myself ever come back to me... so I crossed Over to the unknown and made sure to guide me far enough that even if I looked back, I would never find my way back to myself.., and that’s exactly what I did and then I went back over into the comfort zone of being belittled and devalued and I gave myself up to the prison of all the pain and suffering because I knew apart of me got away freely...many nights I wondered what I was doing out there all alone in the unknown space... many nights I wondered how I was doing in that comfort zone with all these people who neglect me and if I was alright or even still alive... I wrote letters to myself and let them fly out the window... I closed my eyes and talked to myself to let myself know somehow someway I was going to be alright... I was tortured physically and emotionally interrogated and crucified... they wanted me to confess about the whereabouts of my sacred self and I kept convincing them that I was the sacred self and the were convinced of greatness and that made them more eager to destroy me...my sacred self would show up when things got brutally bad and I would cry with me as we lay homeless outside and I would tell myself that I’m going through because I believe you will have a better life.. let them destroy me and break me down but you are the dream the vision they can never be able to get you because if they destroy you I will for surely die in my body... I can never let them have my dreams .. myself understood how important it was to not let me get in my own way but the pain hurts so much especially when it’s coming from the ones you thought cared about you...so myself went back into the unknown but I turned back and whispered something to myself... I told me that I was my vision too.. and it brought light to me because I always believed in myself and now my self is telling me that he believes in me...
I promised myself I wouldn’t let them kill my spirit no matter how deep they stab me... I will endure and not give up because myself loves me and I have to live for myself and I told myself I will find myself in the unknown and I won’t ever be alone or feel alone or be without me again... so myself just had to suffer in silence in the unknown all by myself without no one in the world to care as I go to find myself and be with myself because I am worth more than life and death.. I am not afraid of what they will try to do because I have a part of myself I really care about and I’m not letting myself down... I will build a home for myself.. we won’t be torn apart ever again because of people try to mistreat us... I will build a great huge palace for you and you will never have to be away from me again ... I’m writing this letter to myself and I feel you feeling me..,
Just know I’m going to take care of you I honor you so much you are the most important self I have... I’m glad I can make me smile... I really miss you and I can’t wait to see me soon... oh yeah I’m fast enough now to fly away .... I really really really like myself you are so brilliant so beautiful so caring and sharing and You are my best friend.... thank you so much for waiting for me to get stronger so I can find you just like how I use to ...
with my tears..
I love me so much.... I’m glad I can make me happy ... thank you for being my friend.
We are going to do everything together i can’t wait to be me again....
Look out the window or any where you see a particular warm light....
That is my signal to you that I am near me..
P.S.
You are the strongest me I ever known.
Fly away
See I am a fast car just flying away....
Deep in a far rockaway shelter I sit in a room destroyed because I couldn’t be with the parts of myself that I really enjoyed being...see I was being torn apart by everything that was familiar to me... when no one was looking I hid my sacred self inside of river within me because really
I am just tears... so no one can tell the difference and every day I had to watch myself in the river just float on by like I didn’t care about me... so I cried on my shirt and threw it into the river so at least I can still encourage my sacred self to empower our connection...that one day I would be strong enough to pull it from the river and reconnect us... I felt so sorry for myself that I couldn’t be there I felt so much empathy for myself and I was alone just wishing I was could fly away..,,
So maybe if I kill myself then everything will get better and I wouldn’t have to keep witnessing myself suffer..see I just wanted to be cared about I am so in love with myself I had to be more than I could be with anyone else... everyone turned their backs on my river and they spit on it and poured poison into my waters and tried to set my shallowness on fire... I fought them off and I ran to myself and I set myself free and told me I would come back for you one day... so you have to keep on living without me... I cried sacred tears some more so I can get all of me out into the river and I pushed myself into the ocean and I floated in the unknown abyss by myself and no one was there but me I was all alone and I look back at myself and tried to pull me underneath... but myself told me that you either leave tonight or we will die from this... please go without me I care about so much that I am willing to be killed by all this hate and anger... so you can have a chance at a better life... and then the other me sat on the grass near the water, just witnessing this... I gave me a hug and a kiss... and I pushed me even further out into the unknown... I couldn’t let myself ever come back to me... so I crossed Over to the unknown and made sure to guide me far enough that even if I looked back, I would never find my way back to myself.., and that’s exactly what I did and then I went back over into the comfort zone of being belittled and devalued and I gave myself up to the prison of all the pain and suffering because I knew apart of me got away freely...many nights I wondered what I was doing out there all alone in the unknown space... many nights I wondered how I was doing in that comfort zone with all these people who neglect me and if I was alright or even still alive... I wrote letters to myself and let them fly out the window... I closed my eyes and talked to myself to let myself know somehow someway I was going to be alright... I was tortured physically and emotionally interrogated and crucified... they wanted me to confess about the whereabouts of my sacred self and I kept convincing them that I was the sacred self and the were convinced of greatness and that made them more eager to destroy me...my sacred self would show up when things got brutally bad and I would cry with me as we lay homeless outside and I would tell myself that I’m going through because I believe you will have a better life.. let them destroy me and break me down but you are the dream the vision they can never be able to get you because if they destroy you I will for surely die in my body... I can never let them have my dreams .. myself understood how important it was to not let me get in my own way but the pain hurts so much especially when it’s coming from the ones you thought cared about you...so myself went back into the unknown but I turned back and whispered something to myself... I told me that I was my vision too.. and it brought light to me because I always believed in myself and now my self is telling me that he believes in me...
I promised myself I wouldn’t let them kill my spirit no matter how deep they stab me... I will endure and not give up because myself loves me and I have to live for myself and I told myself I will find myself in the unknown and I won’t ever be alone or feel alone or be without me again... so myself just had to suffer in silence in the unknown all by myself without no one in the world to care as I go to find myself and be with myself because I am worth more than life and death.. I am not afraid of what they will try to do because I have a part of myself I really care about and I’m not letting myself down... I will build a home for myself.. we won’t be torn apart ever again because of people try to mistreat us... I will build a great huge palace for you and you will never have to be away from me again ... I’m writing this letter to myself and I feel you feeling me..,
Just know I’m going to take care of you I honor you so much you are the most important self I have... I’m glad I can make me smile... I really miss you and I can’t wait to see me soon... oh yeah I’m fast enough now to fly away .... I really really really like myself you are so brilliant so beautiful so caring and sharing and You are my best friend.... thank you so much for waiting for me to get stronger so I can find you just like how I use to ...
with my tears..
I love me so much.... I’m glad I can make me happy ... thank you for being my friend.
We are going to do everything together i can’t wait to be me again....
Look out the window or any where you see a particular warm light....
That is my signal to you that I am near me..
P.S.
You are the strongest me I ever known.
Fly away